One Love, One Passion
Making the Best of Circumstances that Come
by Matt Moore
As an uncontrollable yawn spreads across his face, he peers out over the vast expanse of the Utah Mountains. The sunrays glisten off the fresh snow as the flaming ball of orange and yellow slowly peeks over the horizon, and he knows this day is meant for skiing. The faint whirling of helicopter blades above him drowns out the eerie silence that accompanies the complete seclusion of his current location, standing 10,000 feet above sea level. Click, clack. He steps into his skis, and he’s off.
Quick carves, he tells himself as he descends a 300-foot vertical face. As he approaches the first of two 80-foot cliff drops, he takes a deep breath and leans back. The exhilarating feeling of complete weightlessness lasts only a second as he stomps the landing and continues riding down the mountain. Having landed his first back flip of the season, he’s in the groove now.
Before he knows it, he approaches the next drop and decides to go bigger this time. As soon as his skis leave the ground, he knows that this landing is going to be rough. His body hits the hard packed snow and torques violently as he cartwheels and tumbles down the steep mountain face. Amidst the bone crushing blows, he struggles to stop his rapid descent before he reaches the tree line, but it’s too late. The back of his head slams against the trunk of a spruce tree, and then complete silence.
I imagine this is what professional skier CR Johnson experienced on the morning of his life-changing accident. On a recent ski trip to Utah, I met CR at Brighton Ski Resort. This was the first time he had returned to the same place where his accident took place two years earlier on December 8, 2005, while filming the ski movie, “Show & Prove.” It had started out like any normal day of skiing in the life of a professional freestyle skier – an early wake up call before the sun rises, a trip to the top of the mountain via helicopter and a spectacular day of skiing in some of the most remote places in the world. However, this day would change his life forever.
What began as what was meant to be one of many runs that day, CR skied through an area of the mountain that skiers refer to as a “no fall zone,” a place where the terrain is so treacherous to ski that a fall could mean serious injury or even death. Although he was wearing a helmet at the time of his accident, he still suffered a traumatic brain injury. In order to save his life, doctors put him into a medically induced coma. After one week, the doctors took CR off the paralytic drugs, but his brain was so traumatized from the accident that he remained in a coma for another full week. “When I came out of my coma, I couldn’t walk or talk. I couldn’t do anything,” he said. “I was basically a newborn infant and had to relearn everything all over again.”
After coming out of his coma, CR didn’t have the basic capabilities to speak, feed himself or even use the restroom alone. Doctors were skeptical about whether or not he could regain full use of his motor skills. He spent the majority of his days completing his strenuous rehab with the end goal of once again becoming one of the best freestyle skiers in the world. “This whole thing has been frustrating,” he said, “but that’s the challenge I have before me, and I’m not about to give up.”
Even after a few days of rehab, CR was making substantial progress. Each day, he would spend hours relearning basic motor skills. At first, he only had the strength to whisper, but after a few days of practice he could talk for short periods of time. From there, he relearned to move his fingers and toes, and then graduated to larger movements, such as moving his arms and legs. CR was so determined to return to the mountain that he spent many of his nights after the doctors left continuing to practice all the skills he had learned that day.
After only a short stay of 34 days in the University of Utah Hospital, CR returned home on January 10. “I went skiing two months after coming out of my coma, and surprisingly that came back to me most naturally,” he said. “In the hospital, my balance wasn’t very good, but strangely, as soon as I got off the chairlift, I just skied. It was the easiest, but greatest, part of my recovery.”
Returning to the mountain after such an injury would be far too daunting for many people. It requires not only having to relearn basic motor skills, but having to rehabilitate your mental health as well. According to Judith Falconer, a brain injury specialist, the extent of the brain’s recovery after an accident mainly hinges on an individual’s determination to improve his memory. However, no matter how determined the individual is, he can never be completely the same person he was before the accident. Although some people who suffer brain injuries can return to a seemingly normal existence mentally, they most likely still suffer from a variety of symptoms. Some of these symptoms can include changes in personality, short-term memory loss, severe headaches and even unexplained depression. Head injuries make a person different, not necessarily worse.
When a patient needs to relearn everything, serious attention to the rehabilitation process is needed. Head injury victims require strict structure in their daily lives to survive and improve. According to Judith, the most effective rehabilitation following a severe brain injury is in familiar settings. As in CR’s case, he had not fully mastered natural posture and balance before returning to the ski hill, but strangely, skiing came back to him with relative ease. Since he spent much of his time on the mountains skiing before his accident, being in that familiar setting triggered his brain’s memory into remembering the physical requirements needed to complete the task of skiing.
It will take many more years of practice before CR can once again return to the level of skiing he was at before the accident. “Skiing is my life,” he said, “and I’m going to do whatever it takes to come back from this.”
Since the accident, his vision and method of skiing have changed. He knows there are risks, and the looming fear of another injury causes him to contemplate every move he makes while on the mountain. His approach to skiing now is much different. He realizes the dangers more readily then he did before the accident, but that fear does not stop him from skiing. “I’d rather live my life as a skier than do nothing for 80 more years,” he said. “To me, the risk is worth it.”
In order for CR to overcome the extreme dangers he encounters every time he goes skiing, he has to possess a deep passion and appreciation for the sport. “Skiing is what makes me happy,” he said. “It’s what gives me confidence as a man; it’s what gives me self-worth.”
To say skiing is a passion of CR’s would be a major understatement. He lives and breathes skiing. However, even though he carries an intense passion and love for skiing, he knows one crash could land him in a wheelchair for life and could possibly mean death. Doctors have told him that if he ever hits his head again, he will most likely return to an infantile state of existence with no hope of recovery. “My family, friends and skiing mean the world to me,” he said. “The joy I get from those things, that’s worth dying for.”
All of us have something in our lives that we can call our one love, our one passion. It may be that special someone, a role model you look up to or even a pastime such as skiing, that you enjoy. Stories such as CR Johnson’s not only offer us hope amidst strenuous circumstances, but they also give us an excellent example of what can be overcome. In the words of CR, the most determined and inspirational skier I’ve ever met, “Find your love, your passion and give your complete self to it.”
Published 26 May 2009. All Rights Reserved.